Remember when we plant seeds from the Word of God, it is good seed!

Mark 4:26-28 NKJV

The Parable of the Growing Seed

²⁶ And He said, “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground, ²⁷ and should sleep by night and rise by day, and the seed should sprout and grow, he himself does not know how. ²⁸ For the earth yields crops by itself: first the blade, then the head, after that the full grain in the head.

I was struggling with something recently and I could not figure out how to deal with the situation, or rather make a decision. As I went throughout my day thinking about it, I became more disturbed by how much the situation was consuming my thoughts. I encourage others to cast their cares on the Lord because He cares for them as stated in 1 Peter 5:7, yet there I was struggling…burdened…weighed down…by my thoughts. I then redirected my thoughts from what was bothering me originally to really focusing on the bigger issue; The stress that I was carrying was evidence that I was not casting my cares on the Lord. I am so grateful that God revealed that to me. I immediately started praying about it and later, on my woman’s bible study meeting, I asked the ladies to pray for me also. I prayed that I would remember to give God my troubles and know that once its in His hands I can rest. I believe the Word of God, and I believe that God wants us to experience everything that He promised us. He promised us peace, stability, strength, victory and much more in Him.

We must practice casting our cares on God. Think about the thing that is weighing you down right now and ask yourself, “Am I trusting God to handle this concern?” Really think about it! I say it takes practice because I’ve been told in the past to cast my cares on God and my response was, “Well I trust God but I still need to do something and I have to figure out what to do!” I pretty much decided that I would trust or cast my cares on God, after I figured out what to do lol.  Here is what I realize; I must trust God to guide me in what to do. I must trust God’s timing and know that its ok if I don’t have the answer today, but I know that I will have the answer. I must trust God that if I am at the deadline, prayed about it and made a decision, that all things will work out for my good so I will be ok one way or another. I realized that I had to practice trusting God in every area of my life, not just when I have a big issue. As with most things, like dieting for example, it takes time before doing something healthy (i.e. exercising) when we are stressed becomes our first choice – Generally we are reaching for the sweets  to cope or binging on our tv shows all day etc. As we begin to commune with God throughout our day seeking Him and resting in Him, even in our decisions that we consider small, we will remember that He is the same God that handles our big concerns also.

God is with us always, and our circumstances, concerns, decisions, fears etc. are not difficult for God. We need to remember that we play a role in accessing His peace. We must believe that He is Lord of our lives and trust that His Word is true. Give it to Jesus, He cares for you!

Sometimes its hard to get past discouragement. I must be honest; I am still learning how to do it. It is a daily journey. I struggle with the annoying nuances of life that continue to repeat themselves over and over so it seems. Then there is this voice inside of my head that says, “Why can’t things be this way?” or “Why do I have to keep dealing with this?” or “Can I get a break?!” These are our inner stress and frustration calls. So the question really is, what do we do? How do we deal with discouragement?

I am at a place in my life where I seek out balance. Imbalance is a fruit of discouragement that can have a serious impact on one’s life. The things that have been consistent and heightened for the past 10 years of my life are trials. It could be because during those years, in addition to worrying about myself, I am now a mother so I worry about my son as well. Life is already full of so much pressure and now my pressure includes making sure I am raising my son well and keeping him safe. It also includes needing to access that extra serving of patience it takes to be a parent. So my life gets out of balance. You can tell when I am off balance, because my weight drastically fluctuates, my home is a mess, I feel confused…etc.  I’ve finally decided I am utterly tired of the fruits of discouragement. If you can align with any of the things I am saying I am sure you are tired of it too. So now the question is, how do we find balance?

I’ve decided to embark on a 21 day fast. A time of prayer and fasting to ask God to help me come back to the middle…to stay balanced. I am using this time to turn my struggles over to God and ask Him to help me be balanced regardless of what life sends my way. In Philippians 4:10-13 Paul says to the church of Philippi, “ ¹⁰ But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your^[a] care for me has flourished again; though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity. ¹¹ Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: ¹² I know how to ^[b]be abased, and I know how to ^[c]abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. ¹³ I can do all things through ^[d]Christ who strengthens me.” This is such a powerful scripture to reference when seeking out balance. Paul understands that through Christ’s strength he can maintain contentment regardless of what life brings his way. This is the balance I speak of. Balance you can say is the biproduct of contentment; they work hand in hand.  

So I want you to know that I have begun my fasting and prayer today. I will continue  to pray for you in hopes that you will seek out God to remedy your discouragement. God knows what we are going through and what we are facing. He wants us to tap into the peace and contentment that only He can provide.

Be blessed.

John 14:27 (NKJV)

²⁷ Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 16:33 (NKJV)

³³ These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you ^[a]will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

Matthew 6:17,18 (NKJV)

¹⁷ But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, ¹⁸ so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you ^[a]openly.

It’s a tall order when we try to be perfect. All of us say the same thing in one way or another, “ I am not trying to be perfect, but there are things that are important to me.” I agree that its important to have standards and expectations for ourselves, but are we really grasping the essence of what it means to realize we are not perfect?

I started to think about this and the one thing that stood out to me is that I accept the areas where I don’t do well. I know that it will take time to develop those areas so I have learned to be easy on myself. An example would be exercising and eating healthy. My desire is to be healthy and it’s frustrating when I mess up, but I don’t lose sleep over it. I have struggled with my weight and maintaining a healthy lifestyle according to the standards that I set for myself for years. I wont give up the fight, but again….not gonna lose sleep over it. Now on the other hand, I do consider myself strong in judging a person’s character. I know occasionally I may be a little off but generally experience coupled together with my spirit, usually gives me a good pulse on people. When I am blindsided by someone, sometimes I think the pain of not seeing the hurt coming, hurts more than the actual hurt. I beat myself up wondering, “how could I be so foolish.” I think many of us can share in this experience across a broad range of situations. We lament thinking, “How did I not see this coming?” Well that is an example of the imperfection within ourselves that we do not embrace. We are not all knowing.

There will be times when we miss the mark, and sometimes regardless of how much we try to ensure success, things still may not go our way. With our best efforts and with all our experience and spiritual awareness, we may not see “it” (the error in judgment, accident etc.) coming. Even more difficult to accept, sometimes others saw “it” and we did not believe them so now we feel like we have the proverbial, “egg on our face.” We then proceed in life safeguarding everything related to that failed area, to be sure that we don’t miss the mark again; we seek to achieve “perfection” in that area. Now, although it’s important to learn lessons from past events, we must understand that even our lessons learned are not impervious to imperfection.

Life still happens and life doesn’t consult with us before it happens. The areas of our lives that we feel are naturally strong, or that we developed to be strong are still susceptible to error. Here is the thing that we must remember: We have God. Jesus died on the cross, because with our best efforts, we would still make mistakes. His death on the cross was not to tell us to stop trying, but rather to let us know that He is our eternal safety net. He is always there to catch us if we let Him. He holds no grudges and regardless of how many times we fall he is there to help us up again.

The need for perfection – even in one segmented area of our life -can be the very thing that keeps us stagnant, paralyzed in fear, and negatively impact our judgment. The need for everything to be perfect can negatively fuel pride, increase stress, increase self-condemnation, decrease gratefulness, and most importantly, shut our ears, eyes, and hearts from operating according to God’s purpose. As parents – and I’m guilty of this- wanting our kids to be perfect is blurred together with our kids perfection also being a reflection of our parenting. Fundamentally, we want to be perfect parents so we can have perfect kids. I have been working on how to balance having healthy expectations for my son when it comes to his schoolwork…well actually every area of his life – emotional, health etc- if I’m honest. I look at his progress as a reflection of my parenting. I want him to do his best but I realized that I focus more on where he is falling short than where he is excelling because I thought this would help him improve. In addition to constantly pointing out his “areas where he needs improvement” there is also a voice saying “Aniqua, these are the areas you are failing as a parent.” Its gotten so bad, I have been beating myself up even if his room is messy, I’m like, “yup, its my fault”. All these frustrations and feelings of falling short, don’t help, but rather illicit more stress, anxiety and self condemnation within myself and within my son. Now both of us are struggling feeling like we can never reach perfection. Writing this blog is revealing this to me as I am typing. Whats truly important is that my son is learning and growing and coming into his own everyday; that I am blessed to be here with him engaging in his life and growth; that he understands everything in life wont be perfect, but we always have opportunity to improve; and that I love and accept him regardless of what he does. What’s important is that I realize that I need God to be a good parent and that God is watching over my son also.

So, it’s important that we embrace the understanding that we are imperfect yet we serve a perfect God. Our imperfection is just proof of our humanness. There is no single area in our life that we should tackle without God. We should never be deceived to think that even if we are called Dr. in a field, we are exempt from error; but rather, we should trust in our God who helps us and never leaves us regardless of how imperfect we are. Also remember, in some cases it’s the imperfection that brings about the blessings; It’s the pain that births the purpose; It’s the humility of understanding that we are imperfect that yields our reliance on God in all things; God loves us with our imperfections; when we detest our imperfections then we are not fully loving ourselves.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

2 Corinthians 12:10 (NKJV)

¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong

Romans 8:1 (NKJV)

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

Proverbs 24:16 (NKJV)

For a righteous man may fall seven times And rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity.

It is amazing when we get the revelation of how much God loves us. Sometimes when we are in the valley and things don’t go our way, or when we experience tragedy, we question God’s love. We cry out “when will I get a break?” “Why did this happen to me?”, “Why all of the suffering?” And when we get no answer we are bewildered. I have realized that the more time I spend with God the more I find peace in Him. The more I can wait on answers and trust that even when I don’t get an answer, He has my best interest at heart and He has a plan. His desire is not for me to suffer, but when suffering does happen, he will cry with me and comfort me. Pain isn’t easy. There is no easy path to eliminate pain, but we do heal, or rather we can heal with God.  

I now realize why I did not get comfort out of  when people told me to pray and to trust in God in the past. I was unable to  find that peace or feel the love of God because I was not spending any time with Him. Even now, I can tell the difference when I let life take priority over my time with God; it’s like I have to get back into the momentum so I can rest in Him. Its hard to just suddenly begin experiencing something that we don’t have any practice in if you will. In order to build trust in any relationship we must spend time with that person; deliberate, intimate time. I can’t make you understand how God gives you strength through hard times if you are not willing to spend time with God. It’s a process.  It would be  like me telling you to trust in a stranger, or like me telling someone completely out of shape to go for a 5-mile run to relieve his or her stress…it just doesn’t work that way.  It takes time. God doesn’t want to be a stranger to us, but He doesn’t force himself on us. We have a choice. Now understand, God’s love for us already exists, we just have to grab onto it. Grab onto God’s love daily. Don’t make him your last resort because although He is there for you, you will struggle to realize it.

If you are asking yourself, “how do I spend time with God”, the answer is praying and reading your bible daily. Daily. The same way we need to eat and sleep daily, we need God.

I write this to you as I am currently going through my own grief. I lost my nephew, I lost my relationship, we are in a pandemic and many people I love are going through sickness and other types of suffering. I am holding onto God. Satan has come into my life as a distraction in so many forms, but everyday that God gives me the grace to wake up, I get a chance to spend time with Him. I am so grateful for His everlasting love.

1 John 4:19 (NKJV)

¹⁹ We love Him because He first loved us

Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV)

³ You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.

Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV)

⁵ Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”